NiftyFifty

Out of the three children my parents had, I’m the only who can cook. I’m also the middle child, that means that my older brother, about to turn 19 in August, and my younger brother, 12, are pretty clueless when it comes to the kitchen. Now, at 12 I was just beginning to make “simple” things in the kitchen; though, this included cheesecake which everyone on my mom’s side of the family swoons over during family events. My older brother asked me about two weeks ago how much butter he should use the cook (read: reheat) shrimp. That’s a weird question since there’s no EXACT amount and I would just put in enough to coat the bottom of the pan… or more if I wanted it.

Now, this pizza my brothers are obsessed with. This is the third time I made it and that’s only because I didn’t feel like taking pictures of the process, that happens a lot of the time, plus I knew I would make it again. It’s not even that hard to make, yet they still think it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever made in three and a half hours (including the hour I spent taking pictures). I tell my older brother to make the dough during the week sometime because then he can just whip it up in about 30 minutes one day during the week that he wants it. He won’t do it even though he eats basically one entire pizza.

Did I mention that this recipe makes two pizzas?

Now in the spirit of Pioneer Woman I’m going to try and do a step-by-step type thing with my dozen photos compared to her 30+ pictures. I’m just not as patient as she is, okay? Plus I have the worst location in the world to take pictures. It’s a tiny window with a sink directly in front of it. Any who, the really easy recipe.

No, of course I didn’t just upload this picture for the sake of this blog entry. Don’t click on the image to see the upload date. You won’t be it. But really don’t.

Now what you’re going to do it drizzle in the olive oil, while the machine mixes the dry ingredients.

The mixture is now going to be a little lumpy but nothing that could be help together and made into pizza. This is where you add the yeast and water that you have magically procured. Yup, those are the hands of my 12-year-old brother.

After a couple minutes of mixing your dough should look something like this. Form it into a ball, place it in an oiled bowl (or the mixer bowl that has a little spray of oil) and set aside for a couple hours, until it has doubled in size.

Now in the mean time grab your chicken pieces and coat them with barbecue sauce. Make sure you add more than I did because it only makes it taste that much more amazing.

Put that in the oven and cook till it looks something like this and is fully cooked.

Now slice your cheese. The two look different because one is fresh while the other is packaged. You should also slice the onion now but I kinda… forgot about that. You’ll notice it being gone but the pizza is still delicious without it.

If you’ve wasted enough time taking pictures your dough should be ready. Grab half of it, pinching to form a ball, and place it onto an oiled sheet pan.

Press it out to pretty thin and don’t worry about the shape, no one really cares if there’s a bump here or a tear there.

I threw it up in the air but wouldn’t suggest this as it almost landed on the floor.

Put some more barbecue sauce onto the pizza, this is like the tomato sauce on a normal pizza but more smokey and heavenly. Honestly, with this stuff and you put as much as your heart desires. I really noticed that the pizza needed more and won’t be afraid to add more next time.

The mozzarella is the first thing to go on and it doesn’t matter if there are places where it looks like there will be no cheese. Trust me, when it melts there will be cheese every where.

Then then then you get to put the chicken on. Oh right, that should be cut. I have a picture of that some where but I didn’t like it so you guys don’t get to see it. Be sure to try it and hurry up because you want to taste it all together. Just make sure that you spread it out evenly since chicken doesn’t melt, at least the brand I buy doesn’t.

Now throw it into the oven quickly because the oven is burning at 500 degrees and it’s disgustingly hot outside for no reason.

Pull it out and admire it for a second or two. Sniff it. Take a picture of it quickly. Bring it outside to take a picture because you realize you have no light in your dimly lit kitchen and just feel like tormenting your brother as you walk past him into the yard with it and your camera. Then eat it before it’s gone.

BBQ Chicken Pizza adapted from Pioneer Woman

1 whole Recipe For Pizza Crust (mine Makes Two Crusts)
2 whole Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
½ cups Barbecue Sauce
Olive Oil, For Drizzling
Salt For Sprinkling
16 ounces, weight Fresh Mozzarella Cheese, Sliced Thinly
½ whole Red Onion, Cut In Half And Sliced Very Thin
Chopped Cilantro, to taste

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Salt chicken breasts on both sides, then place in an ovenproof dish. Pour BBQ sauce over the breasts and turn them over to coat. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until chicken is done. Remove from oven and cut into a fine dice. Set aside.

Increase oven temperature to 500 degrees.

Roll/stretch out one pizza crust. Lay it on a sheet pan drizzled with olive oil. Drizzle a little olive oil on the crust, then sprinkle on a little salt.

Spoon a couple of tablespoons of extra BBQ sauce on the crust and spread it evenly. Top sauce with half the sliced mozzarella. Sprinkle on half the diced chicken and thinly sliced red onion.

Sprinkle again with a little salt, then bake for 15 to 17 minutes, or until crust is golden brown and toppings are bubbly.

Remove from the oven and sprinkle on plenty of chopped cilantro. Cut into squares and serve immediately. Repeat with other crust and other ingredients, or save for another time.

Pioneer Woman Pizza Crust Recipe

1 teaspoon Instant Or Active Dry Yeast
1-½ cup Warm Water
4 cups All-purpose Flour
1 teaspoon Kosher Salt
⅓ cups Olive Oil

Sprinkle yeast over 1 1/2 cups warm (not lukewarm) water. Let stand for a few minutes.

In a mixer, combine flour and salt. With the mixer running on low speed (with paddle attachment), drizzle in olive oil until combined with flour. Next, pour in yeast/water mixture and mix until just combined, and the dough comes together in a sticky mass.

Coat a separate mixing bowl with a light drizzle of olive oil, and form the dough into a ball. Toss to coat dough in olive oil, then cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap and set it aside for 1 to 2 hours, or store in the fridge until you need it.

Note: it’s best to make the dough at least 24 hours in advance, and 3 or 4 days is even better.

When you are ready to make the pizza, grab HALF the pizza dough (recipe makes 2 crusts) and squeeze the dough toward the bottom to form a nice, tight, pulled ball. You can roll out the pizza with a rolling pin if you’d like, but sometimes it’s just as easy to throw it around and pull and stretch till it feels right. And when the crust is nice and thin, lay it on an oiled baking sheet or pizza pan. Drizzle a little olive oil on the dough and spread it with your fingers. Very lightly sprinkle some salt on the crust.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Top your crust with your toppings of choice. Then bake for 15 to 17 minutes, or until crust is golden brown and toppings are bubbly.